Who would have said this?
by trying out loud
Summary: ...


The distance makes it feel worse… I can't imagine not meeting you at all. I can't imagine sleeping those nights without you on my mind. I can't sleep now can I? No its not like you are dead… But you are just… faraway… So distant. Its like I can touch you, but we are just separated by this clear glass plane. Now I just sit in my room, staring at the computer. Listening to songs. Emo songs. It makes me wanna tear sumtimes, the distance is really unbearable. When I said I wouldn't miss you. I knew deep in my heart that I would. And I am missing you now aren't i? I miss your voice, miss your playful teasing…You know I miss the mornings where I wake up and I see your messages. You know every single word you say or type that is, it is as if makes up a part of me… I want to remember every single thing you say. I want those special moments to last. I smile when I think of you with me together, enjoying life. I don't want to grow up ever… its like as if when you grow up you cant enjoy life with your loved ones anymore. The grown up whole seems to revolve around work. Money. Not you and me…I don't want that time to come. I want more time with you. I want the little moments that cause a warm glow in my heart. I want to see you more and more. Those special times, when you first dared to touch me… when you held on to me when you were falling. When you looked so cute just talking to me. When I held your arm, not knowing what to say, but I didn't want to let go. When we listened to the music together, your head next to mine, I felt so close to you. When we were talking, teasing each other fondly. When you wanted to stay with me for a longer time, not wanting to leave… when we lost track of time when we were talking to each other. When your attention was on me all the time… when we just wanted each other to choose the best for himself. I cant remember any time I made you mad but if I did I want you to just forget it… I just wanna say this all the time I am with you. When I and you, walking together. _I love you._ When I see you I want to _hug you_ _uncontrollably_. And that time in the library when I was just looking at your face, taking in your beauty, I wanted to _hold you so tight and just kiss you deeply._ But I never had the courage. I never had the courage to ask you out before this. And now I don't have the courage to just confess everything to you. That I want to see you more, that I miss you whenever you aren't near me. That I really actually am thinking about you all the time. That I wish that I could just spend time with you.. _With you_. Every night, when I sleep, I want to just yell out. You know, it has been kept in for so long… I don't remember the time when I first had that feeling. It must have just come suddenly… overtime, as I discovered your every side, as I hear your kind words, when you were sad, when you were happy, excited, bored, sleepy. I loved them all. I keep telling myself… its just a few days… a few days. You'll be back before I knew it. I tried to distract myself by talking to other people. But the more I try to forget you for awhile, even just a short while, I remember you more vividly. And I liked that. I liked seeing you appear in my mind. Imagining what you were doing, wanting you to think of me too. I wonder if you could hear me now. When I say _I love you_ in my room… well. Tears are welling up in my eyes and going away, welling up again and going away. I like it when I'm with you. I feel at ease, not needing to act. You were the first person I could ever say things out and I didn't feel ashamed at all. You were just there caring, listening, like what I would if you were me and I were you. I want to make a difference in your life. I want to embrace you, hold your hand wherever I go. I shan't cry. I will just wait for you. I want to spend my special days with you. You know, if you were to spend Christmas with me. I will tell you how much I loved you. I promise. _Or at least I hope I have the courage…_ would you provide me with the courage? To say _I Love You to you straight In the face and hold you tight. Because no matter what they say… I really think I love you and that's what I will do._


End file.
